Struggling to make a mortgage payment is stressful enough that many people's first instinct is to avoid the situation rather than address it directly. Unfortunately, the options available to you generally shrink the longer a shortfall goes unaddressed — so acting early, even before you've actually missed a payment, tends to preserve the most choices. This isn't just a matter of paperwork timing; servicers genuinely have more flexibility, and more programs available to offer, before an account is formally delinquent than after.
It's worth separating two things that often get tangled together in a moment of stress: the practical steps you can take right now, and the anxiety about what might happen if the situation isn't resolved. The steps below are meant to help with the practical side first, because taking concrete action — even a single phone call — tends to reduce the anxiety far more effectively than waiting and hoping the situation resolves on its own.
Contact your loan servicer before you miss a payment, not after
Your mortgage servicer — the company you send payments to, which may or may not be the same as who owns the loan — usually has more flexibility to work with you before an account becomes delinquent than after. Call them directly, explain the situation honestly, and ask specifically what hardship options they offer. Many servicers have programs that aren't advertised prominently on their website but exist specifically for temporary difficulty, and the representative you speak with often won't volunteer them unless you ask directly.
When you call, it helps to have a rough sense of your own numbers ready — your loan account number, your current monthly income if it's changed, and a brief, honest explanation of what caused the shortfall. Servicers are generally more willing to work with a homeowner who describes the situation clearly than one who's vague about what's actually happening, since it helps them match you to the right program rather than guessing.
Understand the common types of hardship assistance
While exact names and terms vary by lender and country, most mortgage hardship assistance falls into a few general categories: a temporary forbearance (pausing or reducing payments for a set period, to be repaid later), a loan modification (permanently changing the terms — rate, term, or structure — to lower the payment), or a repayment plan (spreading a missed amount across future payments). Ask your servicer specifically which of these they offer and what each would mean for your total cost over time, since each one solves a slightly different kind of problem.
A forbearance tends to suit a genuinely temporary situation — a short-term medical leave, a seasonal drop in income — where you expect to be back to your normal income within a defined window. A loan modification is more suited to a lasting change in circumstances, where the original payment simply isn't sustainable going forward regardless of how the immediate crisis resolves. Being honest with yourself about which category your situation falls into makes it much easier to ask your servicer for the right kind of help rather than the first option offered.
"Before agreeing to any hardship program, ask directly: how will the paused or reduced amount be repaid, and what happens if I still can't pay it at the end of the period?"
Read any hardship agreement carefully before accepting it
Forbearance in particular is sometimes misunderstood — it postpones payments, but in many arrangements the paused amount still needs to be repaid eventually, sometimes as a lump sum at the end of the forbearance period unless you specifically arrange otherwise. Before agreeing to any hardship program, ask directly: how will the paused or reduced amount be repaid, and what happens if I still can't pay it at the end of the period?
It's reasonable to ask for the terms in writing before you agree verbally over the phone, and to take a day to read through them rather than accepting on the spot. A legitimate servicer won't withdraw a genuine hardship offer because you asked for time to read it carefully, and that pause can help you catch a detail — like a lump-sum repayment requirement — that might not have been clearly explained during the call itself.
Keep a written record of every conversation
Note the date, the name of the representative you spoke with, and a summary of what was discussed and agreed, for every call with your servicer. Mortgage hardship situations sometimes involve inconsistent information from different representatives, particularly at larger servicers where you may not speak with the same person twice, and having your own record makes it much easier to resolve a discrepancy if the wrong outcome shows up later.
If you're offered a hardship arrangement verbally, follow up in writing — even a short email summarizing what you understood was agreed — and ask the servicer to confirm it in writing as well. This creates a paper trail that protects you if the servicer's own records differ from what you were told, which does happen, particularly during periods when servicers are handling a high volume of hardship requests at once.
How your servicer decides what to actually offer you
Servicers generally follow guidelines set by whoever ultimately owns or guarantees the loan, which can differ depending on the type of mortgage you have. This means the specific hardship options available to you aren't entirely up to the individual representative you happen to speak with — they're often constrained by rules set at a higher level, which is part of why it's worth asking specifically what options exist for your type of loan rather than assuming every mortgage is treated identically.
If the first representative you speak with seems unfamiliar with hardship programs or gives you a vague answer, it's reasonable to ask to be transferred to a loss mitigation or hardship department specifically, since general customer service representatives don't always have full visibility into every program the servicer offers. Being specific about wanting to speak with that department can save you from having to explain your situation multiple times before reaching someone who can actually help.
Look into government or nonprofit housing counseling
Many countries have government-approved or nonprofit housing counseling services that specialize specifically in helping homeowners understand their options and communicate with their servicer — often free of charge. These counselors aren't affiliated with your lender and can help you understand whether an offer you've been given is actually a good one for your situation, rather than simply the first option the servicer proposed.
A housing counselor can also help you prepare for the conversation with your servicer, gather the right documentation in advance, and in some cases can join the call with you or advocate on your behalf if communication has become difficult. Because these services are typically free and specifically designed for this exact situation, it's worth reaching out to one early rather than only as a last resort.
Don't ignore official notices, even if you can't pay
It's tempting to avoid opening mail or emails from your servicer once you're behind, but these notices often contain deadlines for specific programs or your rights in the process. Missing a deadline because a notice went unread can close off an option that would otherwise have been available to you, sometimes permanently, since many hardship programs have a specific window during which you can apply before other legal processes take over.
If reading these notices feels overwhelming, consider asking a trusted friend, family member, or a housing counselor to go through them with you rather than setting them aside indefinitely. The content of the notice matters more than how uncomfortable it feels to read it, and acting on a deadline while it's still open almost always leaves you with more options than acting after it's passed.
Be cautious of anyone offering to "save your home" for an upfront fee
Foreclosure-prevention scams specifically target homeowners who are already under financial stress, often promising guaranteed results in exchange for an upfront fee, or asking you to sign over your deed as part of a "rescue" arrangement. Legitimate hardship assistance from your servicer or from government-approved housing counseling does not require you to pay a fee upfront or transfer ownership of your home.
Be especially cautious of anyone who contacts you unsolicited after a public notice of default or a similar filing, since these are sometimes used by scammers to identify homeowners who are already vulnerable. If you're unsure whether an offer is legitimate, verify it through your servicer directly or through a government-approved housing counseling service rather than trusting the contact information provided by whoever reached out to you.
Consider your full financial picture, not just the mortgage
Sometimes a mortgage shortfall is really a symptom of a broader budget problem rather than an isolated issue — a change in income, a new expense elsewhere, or debt obligations that have grown over time. If that's the case, addressing the underlying budget — potentially alongside a housing counselor — may be more effective long term than treating the mortgage in isolation, since a hardship arrangement that fixes the mortgage payment alone won't help if the rest of the budget is still unsustainable.
It can help to look at this alongside our companion articles on prioritizing multiple debts and on personal loans, if other obligations are part of what's making the mortgage difficult to manage, rather than treating the mortgage as a completely separate problem from the rest of your finances.
The bottom line
If you're struggling with mortgage payments, the single most important step is contacting your servicer as early as possible, ideally before you actually miss a payment, and asking specifically about hardship options. Understand exactly how any arrangement will be repaid before agreeing to it, keep records of every conversation, and be wary of anyone outside your servicer who asks for money or your deed in exchange for "saving" your home.
A free housing counselor can make this entire process considerably less overwhelming, both by explaining your options clearly and by helping you avoid the specific scams that target homeowners in exactly this situation. Reaching out early — to your servicer, and to a counselor if one is available in your area — tends to leave you with meaningfully more options than waiting until the situation has become a formal legal proceeding.